Perhaps it is because I am settling into a new culture, or perhaps it is because my new time zone has altered the nature of what I see in my Twitter feed, but there seem to have been a spate of articles lately about sexism faced by women working in technology, which makes me very sad. This was on my mind when I received from a former colleague a copy of a report we had co-authored. As I read the list of names, I was struck by how wonderful a group of guys they were, how intelligent, creative, and technically knowledgeable, and what a pleasure it had been to be the only girl in the room. Those guys were utterly supportive, thoughtful, generous of spirit, and full of interest in and encouragement of my contributions.
I am from an editorial background and I don’t really write code, but never once in that group did I experience any kind of tech snobbery. Whenever there was something that I didn’t know about, or unfamiliar acronyms or jargon, someone would provide a clear explanation, without every being patronising, appearing bored or impatient, or making any assumptions about what anyone “ought” to know. I was never made to feel I had asked a stupid question, said something foolish, or that I did not belong. At the same time, these men were always keen and interested to hear my perspectives, and to learn from my experiences. The group dynamic was one of free and open exchange of ideas and of working collaboratively to find solutions to problems. All contributions were valued and everything was considered jointly and equally authored.
I didn’t remain the only girl in the room. I was learning so much in the meetings that I invited my (now former) colleague to join us, bringing a new set of expertise and skills that were welcomed. I had not a moment of concern about inviting a younger and even less technical female colleague in to the group, because I knew she would be made welcome and would have a fantastic opportunity to learn from some brilliant minds.
Of course I have encountered much sexism in my career, but it is not necessary and it is not inevitable. I hate the thought of young women being put off technology as a career because of fears of sexism and discrimination. I know this happens a lot – it happened to me, although I found my way into tech eventually. I do not know whether there is “more” sexism in technology – a charge some of the post I have read have levelled – than there is anywhere else, but I do know that there is sexism in all industries, so you might as well ignore it as a factor and choose a career based on aspects like intellectual stimulation or good career prospects. Technology certainly offers those. I personally have encountered sexism in so-called “female friendly” industries such as publishing and teaching, and I am quite sure it is suffered by nurses, waitresses, actresses, pop singers…. Since I have been working in technology, I have often been the only girl in the room but almost always that room has been a fascinating, welcoming, and inspiring place to be.
This is not primarily written for the specific individuals nor for all the other fantastic guys in tech I have met or worked with (there are so many I can’t possibly name them all), although I hope they enjoy it. This post is intended to promote positive male role models and examples of decent male behaviour for boys and young men to follow, and as a mythbuster for anyone who thinks sexism and geekiness are somehow intrinsically linked.
It is also written for women, as a reminder that although we must speak out against sexist and otherwise toxic behaviour when we encounter it, approval and affirmation are very powerful motivators of change, so we also help by shouting about and celebrating when we find fabulous guys in tech and in life who are getting it right.